....Life will be a journey, perhaps not the journey you expected...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Thankful Mother's Heart

Faith and loss...
-by Marsha Abbott

Growing up, I acknowledged a personal responsibility to discover my own truth and concept of reality. My parents believed in God, shared their beliefs with me, but did not tell me what to think or believe. I think they knew that true faith comes from within. I believe we must search for our own enlightenment and investigate all avenues of spiritual-scientific thought. Only then can our faith be truly our own, because we have arduously won it.

I came to the conclusion that the ultimate guideline and directive for everything in the universe is love. God, the creative source, is the wellspring of all positive energy and love. Compassion is intended to be the catalyst for all our actions. If our actions originate in love, we will always be in alignment with the natural laws of God and the universe.

No, I’m not an aging hippie. Well, I must admit to the ‘aging’ part. I didn’t wear flowers in my hair in the 60’s, get high and wear tie-dyed T-shirts. Back then, I was young teen watching protests on T.V., making my own decisions about drugs and alcohol, and hoping that the church service would be short on Sunday. I saw the ‘martini’ moms at my friend’s homes, watched the older brothers and sisters of my friends make choices, sometimes attended the church guild coffees/benefits with my mother, and fervently hoped I would someday fall in love like Liesel from The Sound Of Music.

Blessed to have 2 daughters in my thirties, the responsibility of sharing my faith with them in the same way my parents shared with me, became real. I’ll never win an award for the best church attendance with my growing family, but they certainly had a sense of our belief’s and faith. The concept of loving one another and trying to do right by others is at the very core of faith and enlightenment.

After losing Molly I have come to understand this truth more than ever. To mourn her without a plan to celebrate her life in the way she would wish is parallel to not loving her. We can suffer over a loss such as this, turning inward, and thus become the ‘root’ of our own suffering or we can try to extend a hand, share the positive spirit of our loved one and be an integral part of the cycle of love.

I am thankful to be awakened to this choice and reminded that it is mine alone to make. Our surviving daughter is a blessing that I treasure. I’ve been reminded that such treasures are truly gifts from God. In her special way she has tried to protect her father and I as we grieve, while the loss of her only sibling is monumental indeed. I think deep down she knows there is no need for protection; we are all in this together. Like me, tears visit her out of the blue and I'm thankful when she shares her feelings and allows me to comfort her. She represents the truth in God’s miracles. As I was at her birth, I continue to be so very blessed to have this precious daughter, Lonnie. (pictured above)

One of Marsha's two daughters daughters (19 years old) was killed in a gun accident in Sept ‘09. She maintains a facebook page titled A New Journey, dedicated to helping grieving parents. She lives with her husband in the Pacific Northwest.

1 comment:

Karen Lee said...

This is so true and the pain of losing a child is unbearable. But it is so easy to turn inward, angry and isolated. Going through grief is a process and it takes many many months to begin to see how we are truly coping. In the early months I didn't even realize what I was doing. Farther down the line I saw that I was stuck in very unhealthy place and it was no helpful to my family and did not honor my daughter. Once I recognized it, I was able to realign my thinking. I thank God for having patience with me and I thank my friends and family. It is still a long road to travel.