....Life will be a journey, perhaps not the journey you expected...


The Purpose Of This Blog:

In short, my purpose is to share the journey of losing a child. To date there are approximately 10 articles on this blog and there will be more as I find the courage and inspiration to write. This sort of loss reshapes a person’s entire world forever. The darkness is so deep that most people will never experience such a thing (thankfully) and clawing your way out is probably a lifelong journey.

I’m learning just how this shock is reshaping my view of the world and those who also must travel this road. I’ve discovered, researched and experienced things I have never experienced before. This shift in thinking and ’being’ is major and life altering. I believe there is a positive end to stories such as this and I believe there is hope for those who travel this road. We share the ‘unthinkable’ loss that most parents never experience. In fact, most will avoid the subject. But this loss is akin to the elephant standing in the room, for the rest of our lives. Coming to terms with that, learning all we can about death and life after death, understanding and living life with our lost child in our heart will be integral parts to successfully making it to the end. Understanding the soul and it’s journey is key.

Our daughter Molly left behind a mother, father and sister who adored her. She was a newlywed and left behind her husband Rich, his family, and two new puppies. She was one week away from her 20th birthday. She and Rich had just purchased their first home and she was so excited about decorating it and making it 'theirs'. They were even more excited about their future together. We were shaken to the core to receive the horrible phone call that changed our lives forever.

Loss such as this causes people to react in different ways. It is my wish to honor Molly and go forward in a way that I believe she would have wanted. I often ask myself, 'What would have made Molly happy?" She loved her birth family and her new family. She would want a connection. She brought people together. The events which began just 2 months after her death have been a mystery to our family and carry with them additional pain.

I extend my very best wishes o those who read these words and share a similar heartache. I wish you success and comfort as you find your way. The gratitude I feel toward those who have contacted my family is unending. Even now people from our past or friends of Molly’s are making their first contact with us. You have no idea how even the slightest kindness means so very much. There is still so much pain. We have been blessed in so many ways and for that I will always be thankful.

*Regarding the name of this blog: When Molly was a toddler she always wanted to wear my high heels (this was a fashion accessory to her diapers). She would ask, "Mama, can I wear your big red shoes?"
**We adored her and the gaping hole left in our hearts can never be filled.
**At the request of her husband, Molly was buried in Provo, Utah. -Select HOME (above) to view the most recent article